The Gettysburg Undress

One score and a few days ago, my father brought forth our family and declared a vacation that none would equal.
My sister and I (as usual) were engaged in a great civil war; testing whether this sibling, or that sibling, after being conceived would endure as the greatest. There we again met on a great battlefield of that war. It was on a portion of that field, a restaurant place where those that were hungry might eat. It was altogether not fitting and propper that I should have done this (but I did).
In a large sense, I cannot delete-I can not erase-I cannot forget this event. The two siblings, Travis and Chrystal, who struggled here, have desecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we said there, but it can never forget what I did there. It was I, the brother, in a brave act greatly humbled and embarrassed the sister. I am here dedicated to the task of remembering this great event-that from this task of dishonour, Chrystal took increased devotion to get back at her brother-but her attempts have all been in vain-for in that day, in that parking lot of that restaurant, before tourist and residents alike, I 'accidentally' pulled her skirt, by its hem, off her waist, to the ground; and this act before family, people, and friends, shall not perish from our thoughts.