Clue: Travis, in the Hallway, with the Dental Floss

What has become a legendary story around our church all began one rainy summer evening in around the year 1984. That day, all day, my sister Chrystal tried desperately to interfere with my playing with my G.I. Joe men (not dolls) and transformers. We were stuck inside all day due to the rain, and I was content playing in my room with my cool toys. Problem was, Chrystal was not content with her toys and wanted to play "army" and "transformers" with me.
Now, let me say. My wife, being an only child, does not understand how our two children Alex and Grace, just can't play together all the time. Grace too, wants all the time to play with Alex and his "Legos" and "transformers." I, on the other hand, understand, and try my best to protect this much needed 'alone time between the boy and his toys.' It just isn't right to have your sister play the part of Megatron, Cobra Commander, or have her steeling that one large blue flat piece you need to finish constructing that awesome space ship out of legos. So Alex, I understand and got your back....
Back to our story: That day Chrystal seemingly was constantly interfering with my play time. I was about 10 at the time and Chrystal around 7. Mom, had given in to Chrystal's unjust demands and had instructed to me let her play with my transformers. That is when it happened...I got the idea that would forever symbolize mine and Chrystal's relationship.
"Chrystal, you stay in here and build a fort, and I will go into the living room and build mine and then we will battle!" I said.
"Really, thanks Bub, that will be great." Chrystal replied. Off I went into the living room; but not to build a fort, but instead a trap.
Now, let me say, most who know me have already realized that I have quite the 'imagination.' That day it was working overtime. Instead of building a fort, I reached into the medicine cabinet and pulled out a brand new box of dental floss. I began placing my trap.
At the end of the hallway there was a coat closet and Chrystal's room. I, using the hinges and articles behind both doors, used the dental floss to make a way to trip Chrystal as she walked down the hallway. I, even at that age, new one piece would not do it, so I went back and forth until I felt the trap was strong enough. By that time, I was very proud of myself and was about to call for Chrystal, but then I had another idea.
Instead of just tripping her, I could make like a spider web that she would have to break through. That would be funny. So, like Charlotte for an incredible pig, I began spinning my web. Back and forth from top to bottom I stretched out the dental floss. Soon I realized I had used the entire roll of dental floss. And the best part was, it was virtually invisible with such tiny thread and the lights turned out.
I visioned in my mind Chrystal running down the hall way and hitting the floss and falling through it while all of us laughed and made a fun memory.
It was then I set on the sofa where I could see down the hall way. I then called out "Chrystal, Chrystal, come quick you have to see this...HURRY!"
My bedroom door swang open and Chrystal came running down the hall. My smile grew larger with every step she took. It was then she hit the trap. It was all just like I had visioned...Chrystal runnind down the hall, hitting the floss...but she didn't fall through it. Where was the laughing? I immediately heard a scream...and so did mom downstairs. I turned on the lights, and to my horror found my sister laying on the floor in the hall with blood on her face, arms, and legs. Mom came up and saw her and screamed and went to pick her up....she didn't see the floss either. Luckily, for me, it was just a nuisance to her and she wasn't hurt. By that time I had a big knife to cut my way through the floss so mom could get to her.
Stopping and thinking about it, I sure am glad no one walked in at that time to see my mom screaming, me with a large knife, and a bloody Chrystal lying on the floor.
Anyways, I cut the floss and mom got to Chrystal and all was well.
Seemed that because of the amount of floss I used, instead of just breaking when she hit it, it became like small paper cuts that cut Chrystal's head, arms, and legs.
Needless to say, I got a serious spanking when dad came home....but to be honest, it was worth it and I would definitely had done it again.
Classic!

"Garage Sale" ????

One of my favorite things to do on Saturdays is to go to garage sales with my sister. It's always been fun to me to go "garage sale-ing", as we call it. It is my husband's least favorite thing that I do. He has never understood why I love other people's "garbage" so much! But Rachel and I find some great treasures amidst that garbage some days! Especially now that she has Caleb. She understands how much fun it can be to go looking for baby clothes and toys! I really believe the Lord sends us to some garage sales just to find the "perfect" item. This story, however, takes place before Caleb. It was about 3 years ago, I think. Let me set the stage...

It was a warm, summer Saturday. Rachel had spent the night with me the night before. It was all with the grand idea of going "garage sale-ing" the next morning. We like to start early. We don't do the early bird thing, because that's just rude, but we do like to get started early before all the good deals are gone. We got our newspaper and hunted out the best area of town to go towards. We were so excited. And "garage sale" we did! It was a blast. I think we hit every garage sale in the newspaper. We were out of ads, so we decided to sign hunt! We were driving around looking for signs. "I will look on my side, you look on your's". We had been out for several hours at this point. So, I will give it to Rachel. We were both getting tired. We were in the beautiful little town of Loveland. We came to the top of a hill to a red light. As we were pulling up to it, Rachel shouted, "Oh, over there." And she started to read the sign. (I'm having trouble typing this right now, because I'm laughing so hard I'm crying.)

Rachel said in a loud, bold voice. "OH! Over there!" .She was reading slowly, and on purpose like she was sounding out every letter.."GARAAAAGGGEEE SAAALLLE! "

I looked out her window with excitement in my voice, "Oh boy, Where? Which way? I don't see it!"

I think she was getting aggervated at me.."Right there!" She pointed to a white piece of poster board. I was looking everywhere around the poster board. "What?"

Rachel said, "Oh, wait. Nevermind." I looked at the board...I said, "You mean the one that says 'Oak Bed for sale' ?" I couldn't help but lose it!! I started laughing so hard!!

"Where in the world did you think you saw garage sale?"

"I don't know. I thought it said that."

I promise you, my friends, my sister can read. She was trying to very hard as she read what she thought said "Garage Sale". She was sounding out every letter with purpose!!!
Oh, we still go "garage sale-ing" these days...but I look for the signs now. Unless of course we are looking for beds..then I let her read them!!! I love my sister, I really do!!! :)

The 3 Bears

My brother was not known for being kind to me as a child. He loved to make me cry. One of his favorite things to say to me was, "If you don't stop it, I will make you cry." And that he did. If I started to aggervate him in any way, it didn't last long because he would make me cry everytime. I think he found some sort of joy in it.

My worst memory of him making me cry happened when I was about 6 years old. I can still remember it plain as day. Mom was telling us the story of The 3 Bears..Papa bear, Mama Bear, Baby Bear. Such a nice little story. I enjoyed hearing mom tell us stories. It was bed time. It was getting dark out. Mom told us to go to bed. I jumped up and started down the hall. I had to pass Travis' room to get to my room. He said, "Psst. Come here." I went in his room and jumped up on his bed.

He said, "You know those 3 bears mom was telling you about?"

"Yes?"

"Well, what she didn't tell you, because she didn't want to scare you was...They live under your bed!!"

"WHAT????"

"Yes. Papa Bear. Mama Bear. Baby Bear...they all live under your bed. They come out at night while you are sleeping and eat and play in your room."

Now, I don't know why I was such a stupid child. But in my world, Travis hung the moon! He could've told me anything and I would've believed him. (like the fact that I was adopted. bc he told me that and I believed him til I was 12!)

"We need to tell mom!" I was sobbing at this point!

"NOOOO!!! You can't tell anyone!! If you do..they will eat us all!! They don't want to go back to the zoo. If they know we know then they will eat us! You can't tell a soul!"

OHH NOOO!!!! I really was terrified. He told me to go jump in to bed. I couldn't get out of bed until the sun came up every morning. That's when they went back under the bed and wouldn't bother us. We all know bears sleep during the day and are up at night. Right? Of course, I didn't want to sound dumb so I agreed..and I believed every word of it.

I didn't sleep for months! I don't know exactly what happened to make me stop believing that. I do remember having some accidents tho, because I couldn't get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom or we would all die!!

I might have been dumb, but I would rather be dumb than mean...plain old mean!!!!!!!!!!

The Gettysburg Undress

One score and a few days ago, my father brought forth our family and declared a vacation that none would equal.
My sister and I (as usual) were engaged in a great civil war; testing whether this sibling, or that sibling, after being conceived would endure as the greatest. There we again met on a great battlefield of that war. It was on a portion of that field, a restaurant place where those that were hungry might eat. It was altogether not fitting and propper that I should have done this (but I did).
In a large sense, I cannot delete-I can not erase-I cannot forget this event. The two siblings, Travis and Chrystal, who struggled here, have desecrated it far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we said there, but it can never forget what I did there. It was I, the brother, in a brave act greatly humbled and embarrassed the sister. I am here dedicated to the task of remembering this great event-that from this task of dishonour, Chrystal took increased devotion to get back at her brother-but her attempts have all been in vain-for in that day, in that parking lot of that restaurant, before tourist and residents alike, I 'accidentally' pulled her skirt, by its hem, off her waist, to the ground; and this act before family, people, and friends, shall not perish from our thoughts.

Good times, good times!

Rick and I have now started working with the youth at our church, and I count it as such a privilege and honor. It is such a huge responsibility. Being with the youth has made me really start to think about my time in the youth department. My youth director for most of my time was Travis. It was great having my brother as my youth director...most of the time. I remember a few times when it was not so much fun because he went from youth director to brother REAL fast.
One circumstance would have been at our annual "Murder Mystery." I LOVED murder mysteries. It was one of my favorite activities. At one particular Murder Mystery I was sitting across from my then "beau" Ricky. I believe the mystery was over and we were all just sitting around talking and goofing off. Well, Ricky was hitting my feet and I may or may not have been hitting his back ;) I think you call this "footsies". Well, my youth director/brother saw us from across the room, and hollered at us in this playful but serious way. We got the point! BUSTED!! I know he probably would have done that to any teen in the circumstance, but it was different when it's you're brother! Oh man! I could've died. I could not believe my big brother just caught me flirting with a boy...he's not even supposed to know I like boys yet!
Another circumstance was at our Prim we had each year. I think it was my very first prim. I was probably about 13 (?) We were at Cincinnati museum center about to see an Omnimax show. We were standing outside when these two boys came over and started talking to me and my friend. It was the first time a boy had showed any interest in talking to me, and Travis was going to make sure it was the last! He came right over stepped between me and these boys, threw his arm around me, and asked why they were talking to his "little sister." I could've crawled in a hole! About that time they remembered they had somewhere else to be. He hugged me with his one arm, smiled, and walked away. The youth director/brother strikes again!
At the time those moments were "my worst nightmare", but now as I look back I'm so thankful for my youth director/ brother! I would not have traded any moment in that teen class. I can truly say that I know NO better youth worker! He has taught us so much in how to work with teens, and I pray Rick and I can impact their lives as much as he has impacted our's! I'm so thankful for my youth director!

RBD

I recently heard a radio commercial that said, "What are the three most feared letters of the English Language? I.R.S." I am sure that for many, that may be true, but while growing up, there were three letters that were by far much more greatly feared...at least for Chrystal and me. Those letters were "R.B.D."
So what is RBD? Well, it all started around 1987 at the Moraine Heights Baptist Church around 5:00 p.m. one Sunday afternoon.
At that time, our father was the Music/Youth Director of the church. This meant many things, one of which was choir practice every Sunday night before church. Now if you have never been to Moraine Heights Baptist Church, you should definitely go, especially if you are a kid. There are so many fun and adventerous things to do there. There are old ruins of a castle or mansion in the woods with rooms underground, writings on the walls, and interesting artifacts left lying around. There are cracks in the stair well walls that take you upstairs that look like animals and words. There are rooms full of cool props to play with, foosball tables, ping pong tables, a gymnasium...not to mention a parking lot perfectly paved and seemingly desinged for riding a bike-with even a 'hump' in the lower left side that was a perfect ramp right into seemingly a never dry puddle. There was a car port outside that was four giant cement squares...perfect for a killer four square game. There were only like 9,000 pews in the auditorium, at that time tile hallways perfect for sliding in socks, hideouts, and perhaps the greatest building for hide-n-seek ever!
Needless to say, Sunday nights before church, the hour of choir practice was the funnest of fun times for us and our friends. It was on one of those Sunday nights that my mother came up to us and first said to us those dreaded words, "Who has RBD tonight?" What was this RBD she spoke of? What was it we had or were about to get? Many things went through my head. It was an exciting thought until we learned that RBD stood for Rachel Burke Duty!
Rachel was at that time 2 years old. To have RBD meant you had to keep her in a pew while she played with her toys. Oh the horror! All of our friends playing and having so much fun while one of us sat imprisoned on a leaf green pew. It was most unfair. Each week we took turns, unless, that is, either me or Chrystal had gotten in trouble that week-then part of punishment was RBD.
Now, let me stop...this is in NO WAY a reflexion upon Rachel as a person. She is the bestest! It was just a selfish childish feeling that Chrystal and I had while growing up. But to this day, the hair on the neck stands, the goosebumps rise, the shake of the hand begins, the eyes open a little wider in dread at the hearing of those three letters:

RBD.

Leave it to them!

As many of you know, we just returned home not too long ago from seeing my dad after his by-pass surgery. This was not the first time we had to rush out to see him. I remember on one trip out there it was Rick, Chrystal, and me. My dad was in the hospital and my mom was very, very ill. We left on a Sunday night, and I was EXHUASTED. Although, I am not the greatest person to travel with...I speak little and sleep LOTS!! On this particular trip I had fallen asleep. When I woke up I looked around..it did not look familar! I asked where we were. My lovely sister and wonderful husband informed me of where we were and it was not where we were supposed to be. We had passed Kansas...that's right...PASSED IT!! How do you pass a state?!?!?! I know, my same thoughts, but don't worry they managed to do it! We were on the toll roads somewhere in Oklahoma. We got off and proceeded to find a gas station. If you know my husband at all you know that he is not one to ask for directions, so when he did I knew were seriously lost! We found a gas station that I'm pretty sure was straight from the heart of red neck country. At this gas station we asked "Jeff"(now we don't know that Jeff was his name, but Chrystal said he looked like a Jeff so that's what we call him to this day) for directions to Kansas. He gave us directions in his country twang (that only Chrystal can impersonate perfectly) and directed us through "a trashy little town called Pitcher". We were off, and when he said "trashy little town" he really meant it, but he got us there! It was probably one of the funniest moments I've had with my sister..whom swears that Jeff was in love with her! :)
As a side note..not too long ago on the news here in OH they were reporting about the tornadoes out west. One small town was destroyed...it was our trashy little town called Pitcher! It was a sad day in history for sure!